Peer Review of Cyntalia's WA2

Dear Cyntalia,
About your post, I think you have succeeded in explaining your idea. Besides, you have somehow persuaded the audience that Very-high-temperature reactor (VHTR) is actually the greatest choice for people who want to preserve the environment by substitution of nuclear energy. You also gave us clear evidences and statistics to prove your arguments. I am very impressed by that. Moreover, you did state the disadvantages of your choice, the VHTR, thus make the audience have a more obvious sight about what you are trying to explain.
However, there are somethings I want to comment about your paper.
First is the style of one argumentative text, I think you can reverse the order of the opposing argument and the supporting one to make the essay more persuadable (also like the ideal model of argumentative text). Putting the opposing arguments below, and then argue about it sometimes make you repeat yourself.
Secondly, I think the introduction is quite too long. You can save the place for talking more about the part “safe” in your supporting idea, like comparing it with other reactors ( as you did with the first one). More statistical data is recommended, too.
That’s all. Generally, the whole essay is coherent and well-organized. Transitions are used logically and effectively as well. Although I don’t have a chance to read through the whole reading, your essay did give me a clear picture. Good one! 



P/s: Ah, I am very sorry about this late post. I totally forgot it. =(

Summary of the second journal

Until then, the climate change seems to be a hard problem for all the nation leaders in the world, but the development on bio-technology recently has opened a new path.
It is mainly about making use of the natural ecosystem and the biodiversity. The journal also deals with the two reasons for human to maintain and promote the natural ecosystem. The first one is its important role in the flight against the climate change, such as how many gigatonne the ocean and the forest can help to store and isolate carbon per year, how many lives and money have been saved from threaten disasters by some kinds of plants like mangroves or wetlands. Second is about its economical characters, compared with using other hi-tech equipments. Besides, biodiversity also can contribute more on the way to save the mother Earth. Recent research did find out a new type of enzyme, which has the ability to dispose the agricultural sewage. And if just a small type of enzyme can help to solve one of the difficult parts of the climate-change problem, it is wondered that how many valuable things have been hidden.
Moreover, one of the problem also is worth considering is the fact that people have been damaging the natural by misusing it, and because of its invaluableness, it is requested to stop those bad behaviors. By raising fund, increasing the countries' awareness of how important nature is, also investing on saving-Earth projects and sharing the knowledge within the whole world are some suggested requirements to control the global warming phenomenon. If human and bio-system cannot work together, it can turn to be a serious disaster for the mother Earth's future life.

Peer Review of Mingzhu's WA1

At my first glance, the overal essay is coherent and fluent. After the general introduction about climate change, the thesis statement were stated clearly, which is about the role of developing and developed countries in the flight of climate change.
This essay is a point-to-point compare and contrast essay, and there are 3 main points: economic, political and environmental problems.
In the first paragraph, I think the thesis statement is quite confusing. Your paragraph said many things that the developed countries “have to” to do, but hardly something about the role of those developing ones. You can find some more examples that how those poor countries have done with the financial aid they receive in order to help reducing green-house gas emission.
In the second one, your example about Jet Li actions against the global warming is quite unsuitable, because it is more likely to be a social problems, not a political one.
The rest of the essay is almost prefect. You have included some statics, some number which can make your essay more persuadable.Just one thing that I would say that the Copenhagen climate change Conference was not successful at all, and its partial failure leads to the next conference in Mexico in 2010

owner of this blog_introduction

Hi everyone,
My name is Nguyen Thi Mai Thao, and I am Vietnamese. You can call me Tracy if you are not familiar with Vietnamese name. :)
I am now a student in NUS, in common Engineering. I am 18 years old, and I am going to reach my very last teen, i.e: 19 years old, one week later.
I love dog, especially puppy, I like watching movies, I need music to overcome all stress at school, I hate to be alone at night, and I wanna make friends with everyone I will meet.
The purpose of this blog is for EG1471 request, but I hope that it does not turn to be a boring and insipid place :)
Again, nice to meet you, all my friends and my dear EG1471 teacher =)
Tracy